Perhaps you've read the Evil Overlord List somewhere? Not to be outdone, there are now multiple other similar lists found on TVTropes, and here is a compilation of two sites' worth of entries for my favorite genre, given the same exact amount of loving Genre-Savviness that will turn any Magical Girl into a Dangerously Genre-Savvy ass-kicker.
Compiled from:
* http://www.angelfire.com/anime/Slacker/girl.txt
* http://www.issendai.com/silliness/animemagical.htm
with new formattings and clarifications, and some additions.
Without further ado:
Compiled from:
* http://www.angelfire.com/anime/Slacker/girl.txt
* http://www.issendai.com/silliness/animemagical.htm
with new formattings and clarifications, and some additions.
Without further ado:
Things I Will Do If I Ever Become a Magical Girl
1. I will look into whether there is a less revealing transformation sequence for me to use.
2. In the same vein, I will figure out if there are other clothing options besides a miniskirt, as those tend to be drafty.
3. I will invest in a good pair of sneakers, so as to reduce the possibility of a twisted ankle due to my boots/high heels/sandals.
4. If I see anything even remotely resembling tentacles on the monster I'm fighting, I will immediately remove myself from its striking range, and resort to large firearms.
5. If I have any attack incantation consisting of more than 2 words and a single gesture, I will work on shortening it. If I cannot, I will begin using alternate methods of attacking, such as really big guns.
6. If the villain has a sudden change of heart, I will immediately take him to an anonymous hotel room and watch over him. Either he's faking it and will attempt to betray me, at which point I will kill him, or he's serious, at which point his former colleagues will attempt to kill him. In either case, I will be certain to pump him for information regardless.
7. If my magical sidekick has a nasty habit of forgetting important information until it's too late to act upon, I will insist upon it taking some kind of memory classes.
8. If I have a protector who swoops in, interrupts my fight with the monster just to make a motivational speech, then leaves without helping me out in any other way, I will dump him and look for a protector who will actually help me fight.
9. No matter how ridiculous the villain seems at first, I will give him/her/it my FULL RESPECT until proven otherwise.
10. Attacking from behind is not the act of a coward - it is the act of a magical girl who wishes to minimize fights.
11. If an ally speaks only in riddles, I will give them a chance to speak clearly. If they refuse, I will dump them and find new allies.
12. If an ally claims to know the future, I will tell them to quit speaking nonsense, quoting Yoda if I must.
13. If - no, when - I discover other magical girls, I will force them to learn such strategies as ambushes, flanking maneuvers, rear guards, and catching opponents in a crossfire.
14. If my enemy consistently uses the same tactics over and over again, I will use that predictability to plan an attack to kill them.
15. If I discover that I am reborn from a previous time, I will not be surprised by what my past self was like.
16. If an enemy stops to gloat, I will take that as the opportunity it is, and kill him/her/it.
17. If my enemies consistently use minions that shout out random attacks right before striking, I will learn to dodge at those shouts.
18. I will refrain from making speeches about the Power of Love, the Power of Friendship, upholding justice, or any other moral lessons until AFTER I have fully defeated my enemy.
19. If my enemy is revealed to be a human - highly-placed or otherwise - I will remember that he or she is undoubtedly attempting to destroy or take over the planet, and that professional assassins exist for a reason.
20. I will deliberately walk into walls, gorge myself while eating, and make a general fool of myself, so as to surprise my enemies when I suddenly show competence in battle.
21. If possible, I will create attacks that require no incantations, so as to surprise my enemy when I kill them with it.
22. If my magical animal sidekick has any weapons/powerups/useful add-ons, I will insist upon getting these immediately instead of waiting until my enemies are stronger than I am.
23. I will not save my most powerful attack until after the monster has been weakened by my friends as a last resort. Instead, I will OPEN the fight with it, in the hopes of making that fight a short one.
24. If I come to possess an artifact of great power that can aid me in defeating evil, I will use it as often as possible, so long as doing so does not raise a serious threat to myself or my party.
25. I will learn how to properly use said artifacts first.
26. I will NEVER trust a villain's words. There's a reason why they're the villain, after all.
27. If my enemy asks me if I could possibly find it in my heart to let them go, I will say "yes," and turn to walk away. When my enemy then attempts to shoot me in the back, that will be the cue for my allies to kill him.
28. I will not announce my attacks. If I must, I will use attack phrases that don't accurately describe what's about to happen. For example, shouting "Beautiful Love Heart Attack" will produce some kind of magical NAPALM.
29. In the event that I have a choice between rescuing my teammates and completing my mission, I will reluctantly remind myself that if I don't complete the mission, they're going to die anyway, and that they knew the risks when they signed up.
30. I will ensure that my magical uniform has protective properties. if it is unable to favorably compare to a bulletproof vest, I will discard it and find a new magical uniform.
31. Just because someone can destroy the world doesn't mean they will. I will keep this in mind when my allies demonstrate frightening powers.
32. If several members of my group have weapons or special accessories, I will look into whether this is a viable option for the rest of my party.
33. I will not make attempts to defy prophecy; it never works. Instead, being a Magical Girl, I will find a way to manipulate said prophecy to work in my favor.
34. I will remember that "cheating" is defined by the winners, and will use every underhanded, dirty, and otherwise cheap trick in the book in order to ensure I win the fight.
35. If the villain takes a hostage, I will mourn for said hostage, then act to avenge their death. Any promises the villain makes in regards to the hostage will be regarded as the lies they most likely are.
36. If performing an incantation or other attack preparation leaves me immobilized or unable to defend myself, I will make sure my teammates know about it ahead of time, and are able to give me cover while I initiate it.
37. If my one true love is captured by the other side and brainwashed to fight against me, I will not hold back against him, as I know he wouldn't want me to be hurt because of him. If he knew about my secret identity, he probably even outright told me to do this anyway.
38. If I have a magical device capable of driving the evil out of people, I will use it on the evil minions. At worst, it will do nothing, and I'll have to kill them anyway. At best, it will work on them, and now I'll have an army of them on my side.
39. If said device also happens to remove a person's humanity, making them "happy zombies," I will try to find a way to remove that feature.
40. I will remember that while magically-charged direct attacks are good, magically-charged ammunition (especially if fired from magically-inclined automatic weapons) is much better in a great many cases.
41. I will make all of my allies take at least rudimentary first aid.
42. Just because an enemy appears to be defeated does not mean it is. I will remain on-guard until I'm absolutely certain they can't possibly squeeze out one final attack.
43. If a friend starts to date or care about a villain, I will present logical, comprehensive data as to the villain's true nature. Videotapes, pictures, pie charts, and any other easily-understood factors will all be included.
44. I understand that powerful foes require powerful attacks to destroy. However, if my most powerful ability might destroy the world when used, I will research to see if there are other, less-risky high-end abilities to use against my more powerful foes.
45. I will create an attack that is silent, invisible, or in some other manner hard-to-detect until it actually strikes the target.
46. I will make all possible attempts to KILL something that was previously sealed. I don't want to risk it eventually escaping to make trouble for my children if possible.
47. If I arrive at the conclusion that I truly have no choice but to seal them, then I will do it - and then kill them while they're sealed if possible.
48. If a villain begs for mercy, I will remember how much mercy they have shown themselves capable of, and show them the same exact amount.
49. I will never assume an enemy has only one minion. Instead, I will assume there are many minions, and act accordingly.
50. I will NEVER rely on a device to transform into my magical persona.
51. If I have no choice but to rely on a device, I will never reveal it; instead, I will hide the real device somewhere on my body, and produce some other large, flashy object when I transform to provide my enemies with something to try to steal.
52. If I invade the villain's base, on my way out, I will steal anything that looks even remotely magical that isn't nailed down. If I cannot steal it, I will use my magical powers to destroy it.
53. The near-"magical" powers of plastic explosives will not be overlooked.
54. If my enemy starts a long, drawn-out attack sequence, I will kill them while they're still preparing it instead of waiting for them to finish and throw the attack at me.
55. If my daughter from the future appears suddenly, I will take the time to investigate her claims. DNA testing a quiz about the immediate future, and personal questions about me that my daughter should know will all be included.
56. If said daughter from the future is proven to, in fact, be my daughter, but is indescribably annoying, I will start a birth-control regimen.
57. I will remember that I am a Magical Girl, and that kicking the male villain in the crotch repeatedly is a perfectly valid way to fight.
58. If my most powerful attack takes a large amount of time to cast, or takes a long time to travel from me to the target, I will do all I can to fix those faults. If I cannot fix them, I won't use them, and will develop other more reliable attacks.
59. Whenever I hear a prophecy, I will try to figure out all possible alternative interpretations rather than just assuming that the most obvious one must be right.
60. I will not go inert until I'm certain it is safe to do so.
61. I will not forego my weaker, faster attacks in favor of my slower, more powerful attacks if the faster stuff is working fine.
62. If I must seal an opponent, I will ensure they are sealed in a location that is as difficult to reach as possible, so they won't be released by accident or prematurely.
63. If I must seal away an opponent, I will make sure all of my children know about it - not just the ones I think are most likely to have to deal with it.
64. Not all of my allies have to also be Magical Girls - there is something to be said for allies carrying assault weapons~
65. If I have a magical advisor who constantly advises me to act more like I did in my past life, and doesn't give useful advice for the fighting in this one, I will stop listening to her, and try to get another advisor - preferably one who actually used to be a warrior herself.
66. Since I know a well-developed intellect is my greatest weapon, I will study all material given to me by my teachers thoroughly. I will also intensely study materials not assigned to me in school.
67. Even though I have studied intensively, I will deliberately score badly on all my tests. By doing so, other people will assume I am a bubble-headed moron. And you know what they say about assumptions...
68. Any new students or other people my age I meet will be closely observed. They are likely to be Masked Protectors (particularly if we constantly argue), other Magical Girls, or Villains in Disguise.
69. Knowing that everyone wants to get with Magical Girls, I will break typical genre conventions and hit on the villain. It will confuse them, and might even get them to change sides. (If the villain is also female, it might creep them out, but might still be worth trying.)
70. I will be proactive, not reactive.
71. If one or a few of my presumed "allies" spends the whole series acting pretty much like the villains, I wil remember that when they attempt to beg for forgiveness. After all, how trustworthy were they before?
72. I will tell a few trusted friends and/or family members of my secret identity as a Magical Girl so they can make excuses for me when fighting requires me to miss school or work.
73. I will wear a mask.
74. I will fight in different uniforms. Hopefully, my enemies will think there are several different heroes out there. If necessary, I will cross-dress.
75. I will use my powers and influence to acquire wealth, status, and political power. I will then use that to crush any organized villains when they show up, thus sparing myself, my allies, and innocent bystanders the hazards of combat.
76. I will start an aggressive merchandising campaign. I will use the majority of the funds thus earned to help hunt down the villain. A very large bounty on his/her head should help a bit.
77. I will earmark a significant portion of those funds to be put somewhere safe. I'll need something to live on after the villain is dead, after all.
78. If one of my allies has a computer that is light-years beyond current tech, I will use and abuse that computer. Hacking into the Pentagon to classify our enemy as a serious national threat is a perfectly valid tactic, after all.
79. Said computer will also help us live a little more independently. After all, taking money away from criminals is justice - and college is expensive!
80. If I am destined to rule the world, I will still make sure to finish my education and build up a rather large nest-egg. Destiny never says how something is supposed to happen, after all.
81. I will not limit myself to one form of attack. For instance, if my powers are purely magical, I will research technological alternatives. Or, if my powers are primarily ranged attacks, I will seek melee and hand-to-hand training.
82. I will do the unexpected.
83. If the unexpected doesn't work, I will then attempt the impossible.
84. I will not pay attention to odds.
85. When in doubt, kill it.
86. I will not be astonished when my magical powers first manifest. Of course I have magical powers, it's in the show's name.
87. I will watch plenty of anime and play lots of video games during my stay on earth so nothing I meet in the magical world fazes me.
88. I will not waste my magical powers on trivialities like passing tests. Not only does this stay in convention with what I've said before, but if I play my cards right, I will never have to go back to Japan again.
89. I will not wast my magical powers on getting boys, either. If the series I'm in is worth its salt, I'm already rolling in bishonen; and who wants a blob-faced future salaryman when shen can have Hotohori or Allen Schezar?
90. I will, however, conquer the world. Hey, it's been a long school year, and I really need a vacation.
91. I will refuse to wear a sailor fuku. If I have to wear a fuku because it's the source of my magical powers, I will take it to a good tailor and have it altered. Most sailor skirts convert into culottes nicely~
92. Odango are right out.
93. I will perform exercises to sharpen that rare and delicate faculty known as a "memory," so that I don't have to waste valuable time repeating everything said to me phrase-by-phrase.
94. I will not say my beloved's name obsessively when he is not in the room. I will use my beeper.
95. If I'm on Kodomo no Omocha, I will remember to set my beeper's vibration function to the Low setting.
96. If I am faced with the choice of being destroyed by something evil, or letting loose something more evil in the hopes that it will destroy the lesser evil and then not eat me, I will think carefully, as the greater evil is likely to become my romantic interest.
97. If I cannot cook, I will not keep trying in a vain attempt to convince everyone of my femininity.
98. I will, however, bring huge amounts of pre-packaged snack foods.
99. I will not waste my MalletSpace account on mallets. An AK-47 is about the same size, and much more handy~
100. I will be a dyke. It's the only thing that can save me from the Magical Girl's ultimate fate of falling in love with the most colorless yoik on the show.
101. If I don't have that option, I will be a sidekick instead. Sidekicks always get secondary characters as boyfriends, and those stand a much better chance of having an actual personality.
102. I will not fall in love with the first boy I meet in the magical world. There're bound to be another 6 or 7 along within the next few minutes.
103. I will resist the urge to dropkick the obscenely cute and fuzzy whatsit that follows my party around. There's no telling what powers it might have.
104. I will reaffirm my dedication to my quest and my friendship with my teammates less often than once every 3 episodes. The viewers already get the fact that I'm not giving up.
105. If I get to choose a costume, I will choose one with a real disguise that leads to plausible confusion as to who I really am.
106. Alternately, I won't bother to conceal my identity at all, because even the greatest amateur detective at school hasn't got a hope of noticing who I am: I have script immunity.
107. I will bargain for a fighting costume that covers my head, legs, and arms, preferably with some sort of tough armor-like material. If my higher-ups won't spring for that, I will go out and buy an inexpensive bicycle helmet, and strap pan lids to my knees.
108. I will carry a small, powerful, concealed firearm and a bottle of mace at all times, just in case my large, decorated, twangly-dangly attack doesn't work for some mysterious reason. I will encourage all my other party members to do the same.
109. I will wear my hair in a short, manageable style, not involving pigtails down to my feet, loops the size of bowling balls, a long, untied cascade down my back, or anything else that I can get grabbed by/tangled in/suspended by a pole from.
110. I will not allow the source of my powers, and thus the fate of whatever I am protecting, to depend on a gem, stone, or any other object smaller than a grapefruit that could easily be stolen, lost, or accidentally flushed down the toilet. My powers will revolve around a 40-foot stone monolith located on an unsightly, dangerous planet far, far away, cemented into the ground, guarded by giant, savage housecats, and possessing a ghastly smell. Sink your teeth into that, villains.
111. I will use the patented "anime eye-twitch syndrome" to look cute and sucker everyone around to feel sorry for me. At the very least, it should be useful for getting out of speeding tickets.
112. I will decide beforehand whether I want to stand with my feet apart for balance or with my knees together for modesty, and will not attempt to do both simultaneously.
113. My transformation scene may look great as I twirl around gymnastically, but I will first check to see if I have enough room to do it.
114. If I am facing an enemy who has a transformed state, or a Dark Magical Girl, I will break the Law of Uninterruptable Metamorphosis and attack him/her/it while they're transforming instead of waiting for the process to finish.
115. In the same vein, my own transformation should take as little time as possible; preferably 5 seconds or less. Longer transformation sequences are definitely more impressive, but I must remember that nowadays, more and more villains are, themselves, starting to break the Law of Uninterruptable Metamorphosis against Magical Girls such as myself.
116. If possible, I will take the time to transform before the fight even starts.
2. In the same vein, I will figure out if there are other clothing options besides a miniskirt, as those tend to be drafty.
3. I will invest in a good pair of sneakers, so as to reduce the possibility of a twisted ankle due to my boots/high heels/sandals.
4. If I see anything even remotely resembling tentacles on the monster I'm fighting, I will immediately remove myself from its striking range, and resort to large firearms.
5. If I have any attack incantation consisting of more than 2 words and a single gesture, I will work on shortening it. If I cannot, I will begin using alternate methods of attacking, such as really big guns.
6. If the villain has a sudden change of heart, I will immediately take him to an anonymous hotel room and watch over him. Either he's faking it and will attempt to betray me, at which point I will kill him, or he's serious, at which point his former colleagues will attempt to kill him. In either case, I will be certain to pump him for information regardless.
7. If my magical sidekick has a nasty habit of forgetting important information until it's too late to act upon, I will insist upon it taking some kind of memory classes.
8. If I have a protector who swoops in, interrupts my fight with the monster just to make a motivational speech, then leaves without helping me out in any other way, I will dump him and look for a protector who will actually help me fight.
9. No matter how ridiculous the villain seems at first, I will give him/her/it my FULL RESPECT until proven otherwise.
10. Attacking from behind is not the act of a coward - it is the act of a magical girl who wishes to minimize fights.
11. If an ally speaks only in riddles, I will give them a chance to speak clearly. If they refuse, I will dump them and find new allies.
12. If an ally claims to know the future, I will tell them to quit speaking nonsense, quoting Yoda if I must.
13. If - no, when - I discover other magical girls, I will force them to learn such strategies as ambushes, flanking maneuvers, rear guards, and catching opponents in a crossfire.
14. If my enemy consistently uses the same tactics over and over again, I will use that predictability to plan an attack to kill them.
15. If I discover that I am reborn from a previous time, I will not be surprised by what my past self was like.
16. If an enemy stops to gloat, I will take that as the opportunity it is, and kill him/her/it.
17. If my enemies consistently use minions that shout out random attacks right before striking, I will learn to dodge at those shouts.
18. I will refrain from making speeches about the Power of Love, the Power of Friendship, upholding justice, or any other moral lessons until AFTER I have fully defeated my enemy.
19. If my enemy is revealed to be a human - highly-placed or otherwise - I will remember that he or she is undoubtedly attempting to destroy or take over the planet, and that professional assassins exist for a reason.
20. I will deliberately walk into walls, gorge myself while eating, and make a general fool of myself, so as to surprise my enemies when I suddenly show competence in battle.
21. If possible, I will create attacks that require no incantations, so as to surprise my enemy when I kill them with it.
22. If my magical animal sidekick has any weapons/powerups/useful add-ons, I will insist upon getting these immediately instead of waiting until my enemies are stronger than I am.
23. I will not save my most powerful attack until after the monster has been weakened by my friends as a last resort. Instead, I will OPEN the fight with it, in the hopes of making that fight a short one.
24. If I come to possess an artifact of great power that can aid me in defeating evil, I will use it as often as possible, so long as doing so does not raise a serious threat to myself or my party.
25. I will learn how to properly use said artifacts first.
26. I will NEVER trust a villain's words. There's a reason why they're the villain, after all.
27. If my enemy asks me if I could possibly find it in my heart to let them go, I will say "yes," and turn to walk away. When my enemy then attempts to shoot me in the back, that will be the cue for my allies to kill him.
28. I will not announce my attacks. If I must, I will use attack phrases that don't accurately describe what's about to happen. For example, shouting "Beautiful Love Heart Attack" will produce some kind of magical NAPALM.
29. In the event that I have a choice between rescuing my teammates and completing my mission, I will reluctantly remind myself that if I don't complete the mission, they're going to die anyway, and that they knew the risks when they signed up.
30. I will ensure that my magical uniform has protective properties. if it is unable to favorably compare to a bulletproof vest, I will discard it and find a new magical uniform.
31. Just because someone can destroy the world doesn't mean they will. I will keep this in mind when my allies demonstrate frightening powers.
32. If several members of my group have weapons or special accessories, I will look into whether this is a viable option for the rest of my party.
33. I will not make attempts to defy prophecy; it never works. Instead, being a Magical Girl, I will find a way to manipulate said prophecy to work in my favor.
34. I will remember that "cheating" is defined by the winners, and will use every underhanded, dirty, and otherwise cheap trick in the book in order to ensure I win the fight.
35. If the villain takes a hostage, I will mourn for said hostage, then act to avenge their death. Any promises the villain makes in regards to the hostage will be regarded as the lies they most likely are.
36. If performing an incantation or other attack preparation leaves me immobilized or unable to defend myself, I will make sure my teammates know about it ahead of time, and are able to give me cover while I initiate it.
37. If my one true love is captured by the other side and brainwashed to fight against me, I will not hold back against him, as I know he wouldn't want me to be hurt because of him. If he knew about my secret identity, he probably even outright told me to do this anyway.
38. If I have a magical device capable of driving the evil out of people, I will use it on the evil minions. At worst, it will do nothing, and I'll have to kill them anyway. At best, it will work on them, and now I'll have an army of them on my side.
39. If said device also happens to remove a person's humanity, making them "happy zombies," I will try to find a way to remove that feature.
40. I will remember that while magically-charged direct attacks are good, magically-charged ammunition (especially if fired from magically-inclined automatic weapons) is much better in a great many cases.
41. I will make all of my allies take at least rudimentary first aid.
42. Just because an enemy appears to be defeated does not mean it is. I will remain on-guard until I'm absolutely certain they can't possibly squeeze out one final attack.
43. If a friend starts to date or care about a villain, I will present logical, comprehensive data as to the villain's true nature. Videotapes, pictures, pie charts, and any other easily-understood factors will all be included.
44. I understand that powerful foes require powerful attacks to destroy. However, if my most powerful ability might destroy the world when used, I will research to see if there are other, less-risky high-end abilities to use against my more powerful foes.
45. I will create an attack that is silent, invisible, or in some other manner hard-to-detect until it actually strikes the target.
46. I will make all possible attempts to KILL something that was previously sealed. I don't want to risk it eventually escaping to make trouble for my children if possible.
47. If I arrive at the conclusion that I truly have no choice but to seal them, then I will do it - and then kill them while they're sealed if possible.
48. If a villain begs for mercy, I will remember how much mercy they have shown themselves capable of, and show them the same exact amount.
49. I will never assume an enemy has only one minion. Instead, I will assume there are many minions, and act accordingly.
50. I will NEVER rely on a device to transform into my magical persona.
51. If I have no choice but to rely on a device, I will never reveal it; instead, I will hide the real device somewhere on my body, and produce some other large, flashy object when I transform to provide my enemies with something to try to steal.
52. If I invade the villain's base, on my way out, I will steal anything that looks even remotely magical that isn't nailed down. If I cannot steal it, I will use my magical powers to destroy it.
53. The near-"magical" powers of plastic explosives will not be overlooked.
54. If my enemy starts a long, drawn-out attack sequence, I will kill them while they're still preparing it instead of waiting for them to finish and throw the attack at me.
55. If my daughter from the future appears suddenly, I will take the time to investigate her claims. DNA testing a quiz about the immediate future, and personal questions about me that my daughter should know will all be included.
56. If said daughter from the future is proven to, in fact, be my daughter, but is indescribably annoying, I will start a birth-control regimen.
57. I will remember that I am a Magical Girl, and that kicking the male villain in the crotch repeatedly is a perfectly valid way to fight.
58. If my most powerful attack takes a large amount of time to cast, or takes a long time to travel from me to the target, I will do all I can to fix those faults. If I cannot fix them, I won't use them, and will develop other more reliable attacks.
59. Whenever I hear a prophecy, I will try to figure out all possible alternative interpretations rather than just assuming that the most obvious one must be right.
60. I will not go inert until I'm certain it is safe to do so.
61. I will not forego my weaker, faster attacks in favor of my slower, more powerful attacks if the faster stuff is working fine.
62. If I must seal an opponent, I will ensure they are sealed in a location that is as difficult to reach as possible, so they won't be released by accident or prematurely.
63. If I must seal away an opponent, I will make sure all of my children know about it - not just the ones I think are most likely to have to deal with it.
64. Not all of my allies have to also be Magical Girls - there is something to be said for allies carrying assault weapons~
65. If I have a magical advisor who constantly advises me to act more like I did in my past life, and doesn't give useful advice for the fighting in this one, I will stop listening to her, and try to get another advisor - preferably one who actually used to be a warrior herself.
66. Since I know a well-developed intellect is my greatest weapon, I will study all material given to me by my teachers thoroughly. I will also intensely study materials not assigned to me in school.
67. Even though I have studied intensively, I will deliberately score badly on all my tests. By doing so, other people will assume I am a bubble-headed moron. And you know what they say about assumptions...
68. Any new students or other people my age I meet will be closely observed. They are likely to be Masked Protectors (particularly if we constantly argue), other Magical Girls, or Villains in Disguise.
69. Knowing that everyone wants to get with Magical Girls, I will break typical genre conventions and hit on the villain. It will confuse them, and might even get them to change sides. (If the villain is also female, it might creep them out, but might still be worth trying.)
70. I will be proactive, not reactive.
71. If one or a few of my presumed "allies" spends the whole series acting pretty much like the villains, I wil remember that when they attempt to beg for forgiveness. After all, how trustworthy were they before?
72. I will tell a few trusted friends and/or family members of my secret identity as a Magical Girl so they can make excuses for me when fighting requires me to miss school or work.
73. I will wear a mask.
74. I will fight in different uniforms. Hopefully, my enemies will think there are several different heroes out there. If necessary, I will cross-dress.
75. I will use my powers and influence to acquire wealth, status, and political power. I will then use that to crush any organized villains when they show up, thus sparing myself, my allies, and innocent bystanders the hazards of combat.
76. I will start an aggressive merchandising campaign. I will use the majority of the funds thus earned to help hunt down the villain. A very large bounty on his/her head should help a bit.
77. I will earmark a significant portion of those funds to be put somewhere safe. I'll need something to live on after the villain is dead, after all.
78. If one of my allies has a computer that is light-years beyond current tech, I will use and abuse that computer. Hacking into the Pentagon to classify our enemy as a serious national threat is a perfectly valid tactic, after all.
79. Said computer will also help us live a little more independently. After all, taking money away from criminals is justice - and college is expensive!
80. If I am destined to rule the world, I will still make sure to finish my education and build up a rather large nest-egg. Destiny never says how something is supposed to happen, after all.
81. I will not limit myself to one form of attack. For instance, if my powers are purely magical, I will research technological alternatives. Or, if my powers are primarily ranged attacks, I will seek melee and hand-to-hand training.
82. I will do the unexpected.
83. If the unexpected doesn't work, I will then attempt the impossible.
84. I will not pay attention to odds.
85. When in doubt, kill it.
86. I will not be astonished when my magical powers first manifest. Of course I have magical powers, it's in the show's name.
87. I will watch plenty of anime and play lots of video games during my stay on earth so nothing I meet in the magical world fazes me.
88. I will not waste my magical powers on trivialities like passing tests. Not only does this stay in convention with what I've said before, but if I play my cards right, I will never have to go back to Japan again.
89. I will not wast my magical powers on getting boys, either. If the series I'm in is worth its salt, I'm already rolling in bishonen; and who wants a blob-faced future salaryman when shen can have Hotohori or Allen Schezar?
90. I will, however, conquer the world. Hey, it's been a long school year, and I really need a vacation.
91. I will refuse to wear a sailor fuku. If I have to wear a fuku because it's the source of my magical powers, I will take it to a good tailor and have it altered. Most sailor skirts convert into culottes nicely~
92. Odango are right out.
93. I will perform exercises to sharpen that rare and delicate faculty known as a "memory," so that I don't have to waste valuable time repeating everything said to me phrase-by-phrase.
94. I will not say my beloved's name obsessively when he is not in the room. I will use my beeper.
95. If I'm on Kodomo no Omocha, I will remember to set my beeper's vibration function to the Low setting.
96. If I am faced with the choice of being destroyed by something evil, or letting loose something more evil in the hopes that it will destroy the lesser evil and then not eat me, I will think carefully, as the greater evil is likely to become my romantic interest.
97. If I cannot cook, I will not keep trying in a vain attempt to convince everyone of my femininity.
98. I will, however, bring huge amounts of pre-packaged snack foods.
99. I will not waste my MalletSpace account on mallets. An AK-47 is about the same size, and much more handy~
100. I will be a dyke. It's the only thing that can save me from the Magical Girl's ultimate fate of falling in love with the most colorless yoik on the show.
101. If I don't have that option, I will be a sidekick instead. Sidekicks always get secondary characters as boyfriends, and those stand a much better chance of having an actual personality.
102. I will not fall in love with the first boy I meet in the magical world. There're bound to be another 6 or 7 along within the next few minutes.
103. I will resist the urge to dropkick the obscenely cute and fuzzy whatsit that follows my party around. There's no telling what powers it might have.
104. I will reaffirm my dedication to my quest and my friendship with my teammates less often than once every 3 episodes. The viewers already get the fact that I'm not giving up.
105. If I get to choose a costume, I will choose one with a real disguise that leads to plausible confusion as to who I really am.
106. Alternately, I won't bother to conceal my identity at all, because even the greatest amateur detective at school hasn't got a hope of noticing who I am: I have script immunity.
107. I will bargain for a fighting costume that covers my head, legs, and arms, preferably with some sort of tough armor-like material. If my higher-ups won't spring for that, I will go out and buy an inexpensive bicycle helmet, and strap pan lids to my knees.
108. I will carry a small, powerful, concealed firearm and a bottle of mace at all times, just in case my large, decorated, twangly-dangly attack doesn't work for some mysterious reason. I will encourage all my other party members to do the same.
109. I will wear my hair in a short, manageable style, not involving pigtails down to my feet, loops the size of bowling balls, a long, untied cascade down my back, or anything else that I can get grabbed by/tangled in/suspended by a pole from.
110. I will not allow the source of my powers, and thus the fate of whatever I am protecting, to depend on a gem, stone, or any other object smaller than a grapefruit that could easily be stolen, lost, or accidentally flushed down the toilet. My powers will revolve around a 40-foot stone monolith located on an unsightly, dangerous planet far, far away, cemented into the ground, guarded by giant, savage housecats, and possessing a ghastly smell. Sink your teeth into that, villains.
111. I will use the patented "anime eye-twitch syndrome" to look cute and sucker everyone around to feel sorry for me. At the very least, it should be useful for getting out of speeding tickets.
112. I will decide beforehand whether I want to stand with my feet apart for balance or with my knees together for modesty, and will not attempt to do both simultaneously.
113. My transformation scene may look great as I twirl around gymnastically, but I will first check to see if I have enough room to do it.
114. If I am facing an enemy who has a transformed state, or a Dark Magical Girl, I will break the Law of Uninterruptable Metamorphosis and attack him/her/it while they're transforming instead of waiting for the process to finish.
115. In the same vein, my own transformation should take as little time as possible; preferably 5 seconds or less. Longer transformation sequences are definitely more impressive, but I must remember that nowadays, more and more villains are, themselves, starting to break the Law of Uninterruptable Metamorphosis against Magical Girls such as myself.
116. If possible, I will take the time to transform before the fight even starts.
